Ben Brereton Diaz is living completely off-grid. The Southampton striker made a surprise admission about his struggles and delight at off-grid living before returning to the City Ground this weekend where he played 53 times for The Reds.
Living in a self-built hut in Stoke-on Trent, Brereton Diaz expressed what life is like living like Grizzly Adams in a damp, unforgiving climate.
“Many people think it’s all hog roasts, champagne and glamourous girlfriends being a professional footballer,” said Brereton Diaz, 25, “but it’s been a real struggle for someone like me. In this tough economic climate, I’m having to store my own urine in oak barrels to help fertilise crops; butcher my own livestock; use the same razor for seven years, and defecate in a hole in the ground that is packed with straw.”
“Everything you see before you was grown right here, in the heart of a s#!7hole.”
The former Nottingham Forest winger said, “I’m taking responsibility for energy use and water consumption. Yeah, of course, I have a warm shower after training but I haven’t had a warm bath at home since 2005.”
Conscious of water consumption
“Following a game, I often tell the lads that I’m going home to have, what I like to call, one of my ‘whore’s baths’ in rainwater. I just fill a tub in a wooden shed I built myself from pieces of 19th-century shipwreck, and I stand in it, and just scrub my knees and wash between crevices.”
“Until you live like this, you don’t realise how much water we consume as human beings; you don’t realise how conscious you become of water consumption.”
“I have no electricity,” said Brereton Diaz, “and, at times, I have to live off berries, nettle soup and roadkill. I once had to kill a beloved pet fox named André with a handmade stool, and eat it with some summer vegetables and chestnuts.”
The Chilean international went on to say, “Whenever I see those Nottingham Forest fans who can remember that I only scored 8 goals in over 50 appearances whilst at the club, they can’t believe that Brereton Diaz is living completely off-grid.”
Despite a woeful return, Brereton Diaz was once nominated for a Championship Apprentice of the Year award, an accolade that would have been as irrelevant as his goal celebrations for Sheffield United last season.
Ben Brereton Diaz is living completely off-grid and having to drink his own urine.
Many people were surprised to hear that BenBrereton Diaz is living completely off-grid but even more surprised to learn that Premiership side Southampton signed him last year on a four-year contract, especially if they were serious about staying up this season.
Brereton Diaz concluded by saying, “I’m more committed to sourcing everything I need to survive from the land of a dank, English countryside than I ever was about scoring for Nottingham Forest. It’s tough living off £50,000 a week but I get more pleasure from thriving independently. It’s such a delight until the water pump freezes in January and I have to drink my own urine.”
Brereton Diaz is likely to start this weekend as he looks to celebrate in front of the Forest fans again. But, deep down, he’s not bothered about all that. His passion is living off-grid, thriving off natural produce, eating raw meat, scoring in front of the Trent End, and sticking it to consumerist, capitalist pigs who are slaves to the system.
Tree Seasons Prediction: Brereton Diaz 0 – Chris Wood 2.
