World-renowned American filmmaker and advocate of stylised violence, Quentin Tarantino, wants to sign Murillo and Milenković within the final days of the transfer market.
With interest being shown from Liverpool, Manchester City, Hartlepool and Real Madrid, Quentin Tarantino is set to place a bid within the coming days.
“I’m not sure where they will fit in yet but this duo are just what I’ve been looking for,” said Tarantino, speaking to a barista at the Showcase Cinema in Nottingham. “They are a tough-looking duo with sharp minds. If I were to do another Reservoir Dogs, these guys would be in it. They could even run the show in a Pulp Fiction prequel: Murillo being the quit-witted, philosophical Jules, and Milenković could be a sophisticatedly confident Vincent Vega who understands the intimacy of a good foot massage.”
What if Forest had to sign Murillo and Milenković?
Forest are currently sitting in third position in the Premier League and, thanks mainly to the fearless defensive attributes of Murillo and Milenković, flanked by the impressive Ola Aina and the relentless Neco Williams, Forest’s defensive stats rival that of the best teams in Europe.
“With such great personalities, I can even build a film around their existing characters,” said Tarantino, 61. “On one hand we have the dynamic Brazilian with flair and skill, and then we have the Serbinator: a technical, no-nonsense assassin from Serbia who specialises in bio-chemistry and espionage. With respective backgrounds in gorilla warfare, these two will work perfectly with my extended dialogue, featuring profanities and references to popular culture.”
“I’d like to see them torture Anthony Taylor.”
When asked about a specific scene he had in mind, Tarantino responded,” I’d like to see the pair of them appear in a scene where they have to torture an inept Premiership referee – someone like Anthony Taylor perhaps – in an abandoned warehouse before setting the Gimp on him.”
I think we can all agree, if Tarantino does want to sign Murillo and Milenković, we’d rather see them appearing in a Hollywood movie, cutting Anthony Taylor’s ear off, than playing in a Manchester derby.
