A batch cooking disaster has been blamed for Mikel Arteta’s abrupt departure, mid-interview, with Sky Sports.
During his post-match interview, following a disappointing draw against crap and unlikeable Manchester United, Arteta remembered that he had not only used frozen vegetables for his batch cooking that weekend but he had also forgotten to turn off the eleven slow cookers that were stewing the ingredients.
Batch Cooking disaster is now Arteta’s priority.
With a host of injuries, under-performing superstars, and no striker, the inept Arsenal manager has found his batch cooking duties taking a backseat in the midst of spunking the Premier League title away again.
Working early Saturday evening, Mikel had prepared all his meat, seasoned it, and added frozen vegetables to eleven slow cookers.
He made a call at around 7 pm to Nottingham Forest manager, Nuno Espirito Santo, asking his advice about how to beat teams from Manchester.
In the midst of taking notes, Arteta was reflecting on how a mediocre Nottingham Forest side with a bunch of rejects and a back-four costing as little as £40 million, could gain ground on his $billion super team.
Arteta was fraught with angst and simply forgot to turn his slow cookers off.
It’s not as it seems.
Everyone knows that Arsenal should’ve won the Premier League title at some point within the last five years, and now it appears that the title challenge is the least of his worries as he faces a batch cooking disaster.
“It wasn’t how it seems,” said Arteta, speaking to Good Food Magazine. “It may have appeared to the viewers that I was trying to flee an ongoing military coup but I remembered about my eleven stews,” said Arteta. “It was a batch cooking disaster on an unprecedented level and I just had to get out of there.”
Oswald Moseley, a friend of the Arsenal manager, said, “I’ve not seen Mikel move that fast since he ran over a goat in Lebanon.”
