The largest collection of Manchester United shirts has been found on a landfill site on the Nottingham city border
Not since 1974, when sex pest Tommy Docherty and the club’s bus driver, Reginald Mitresaw, successfully managed to relegate Manchester United, has the country witnessed such a mass dumping of Manchester United shirts.
And it’s not just a collection of Manchester United shirts that have been dumped.
It is also believed that Forest’s 1-0 victory over Manchester City at the City Ground, earlier last month, is solely responsible for the dumping of an abundance of sky-blue Manchester City shirts, found on a layby in Trowell, three weeks ago.
“The people of Nottingham have been deluded for some time about supporting the big six clubs,” said Maximus Schopenhauer, 68, from Wollaton. “We have seen an increase in the amount of Forest shirts in the city since the club was promoted back into the top flight of English football, in 2022. I believe this has coincided with the city’s epiphany that people from Nottingham will get nothing from glory-supporting a team that is hundred’s of miles away from where they live. What’s the point?”
James Maddison makes the discovery.
The largest collection of Manchester United shirts was discovered by a skip-rat named James Maddison, on Sunday afternoon, the day after Forest progressed to the F.A. Cup semi-final at Wembley.
James, 16, was hanging around landfill looking for scraps when he came across an estimated 3,000 Manchester United shirts.
Looking at the shirts in disgust, James said, “You can’t even get any money for these things anymore. They’re worthless. Despite being desperately dirt poor and having no shoes, I’d be ashamed to wear a Manchester United shirt these days, especially if it had that Portuguese cry-baby’s name on the back, Bruno Fernandes.”
More Manchester United shirts to add to landfill?
It is predicted that after tonight’s game, when Nottingham Forest entertain Manchester United at the City Ground, there will be an even bigger collection of Manchester United shirts on landfill.
Tree Season’s prediction: Nottingham Forest 6 – Manchester United 0.
