Getting deep into 2025, the UK is still experiencing a cost-of-living crisis like no other, and the Chelsea squad has no concept whatsoever that people are struggling with rising costs.
In an interview with Ahmed Ben Bella, an economics expert representing The Grocer – https://www.thegrocer.co.uk/ – he discovered that the Chelsea squad is completely clueless when it comes to political and economic adversity.
Responses to poverty were shocking.
“It’s not surprising to hear that many footballers are detached from the realities of life,” said Ben Bella, “but the Chelsea players are particularly clueless when it comes to the concept of money.”
“When I asked the players individually to look at photographs of citizens living in poverty and tell me how they could reverse their plight, the responses were particularly shocking.”
“One player who is currently on loan and earning £ 100,000.00 a week suggested that people should cut down on the number of Ferraris they own and perhaps invest in properties that are located in more affluent areas, to avoid sudden depreciation.”
“Another player suggested that they should employ the services of a financial expert to review their portfolio and help by offering recommendations for future investment.”
“When I explained to the Chelsea squad that some people are unable to heat their house in winter, one player suggested that, if they are averse to the cold weather, they should buy a property in a warmer climate and take a private charter to the destination and stay there until Spring arrives.”
The Chelsea squad is living in an adult Disneyland.
The UK is still experiencing an economic crisis, although inflation decreased to 4.1% in August, down a whopping 0.1% since July.
The Chelsea squad is unaware of how many households struggle to put food on the table and pay the bills. Low-income households are particularly affected, with 7.1 million going without essentials in the six months to May 2025, and many falling behind with utility bills.
Ahmed Ben Bella, 36, concluded, “With the top five players in the Chelsea squad earning an average of £10 million per annum, it’s understandable why these people have no idea how much a loaf of bread costs or what it feels like when you can’t have the heating on in mid-winter because it’s so f’@%ing expensive – largely due to the greedy utility companies and their inability to negotiate cheaper prices, whilst sucking the %!#ks of the avaricious shareholders.”
Ben Bella was unsurprised to discover that the Chelsea squad, with its substantial disposable income, fails to notice price increases. After all, food, energy, housing, and transport costs take up an infinitesimal fraction of their income.
The Chelsea squad views inflation as an abstract issue because the players are not living in the real world. When you’re earning over £20.000.00 a day, life is an adult Disneyland of hog roasts, Prada, afternoon golf, and cocaine truffles – https://www.spotrac.com/epl/chelsea-fc/payroll
The Chelsea squad has accumulated multiple financial buffers, unlike Ange Postecoglou, who has bet his life’s savings on still being in charge of Nottingham Forest at Christmas.
Tree Seasons Prediction: Nottingham Forest 0- Chelsea 5.
