It has emerged that, due to a legal loophole, Jermaine Jenas could get his job back at the BBC.
In a bizarre twist, former Nottingham Forest favourite and serial sleazebag, Jermaine Jenas, is set to return to our screens in late spring.
Former One Show and Match of the Day host, Jermaine Jenas, 41 and still sleeping on the couch, could be back on our screens as early as May this year as Gary Lineker prepares to step down from his role as host of the iconic football show.
A spokesman from the BBC, Mr James Sevilla, said, “We have a proud reputation for employing cheeky rascals and sexual deviants at the BBC and Jermaine’s anticipated return is a pleasant surprise, given that we are currently enduring the company of Lancashire sleazebag and Bolton Wanderers supporter, Vernon Kay.
“It couldn’t come any sooner as we are sick of Vernon’s constant Jay-Jay Okocha comparisons and his text messaging. We can’t wait for more slapstick humour and light-hearted Benny Hill impressions from Mr Jenas. He’s such a character”
There have been many rumours circulating about who will replace Lineker in the predominately male chauvinistic role as Match of the Day host.
If Jermaine Jenas could get his job back and return to the BBC at the beginning of the summer, it would quell any concerns that a woman could host a show about football, or, worse still, allow the charisma vacuum Mark Chapman to host it.
Jermaine Jenas could get his job back on a technicality.
The BBC’s lawyer, Lyle Stanford, said, “When we ended Jermaine’s contract following a barrage of suggestive messages to a young female employee, about Covid vaccines and Pot Noodle, there was a disclaimer in his contract that has come back to bite the entire Match of the Day team.”
“Jermaine’s exit disclaimer was written by the same idiot who dealt with the FFP contract that saw Leicester City escape a points deduction on a technicality. Taken from the footballing mind of Gary Lineker to ensure that Jenas would never grace our studios ever again, the legal team thought it would be a hoot to include a trigger that would allow the former Nottingham Forest and England midfielder to return to his former overpaid roles at the BBC.”
“Within the contract,” continued Stanford, “it stated that Jermaine Jenas could get his job back at the BBC if Nottingham Forest qualified for European football next season. I mean, who would’ve thought it (possible)? FFS!”
Champions League Football
With Nottingham Forest currently sitting in third place in the Premier League table, it seems remarkably likely that Nottingham Forest will finish no lower than seventh this season unless there is an unholy f#%up along the way, meaning that Nottingham Forest could play in Europe next season.
To finish, Lyle Stanford went on to say, “There is some light at the end of our tunnel, however, as popular music legend Cliff Richards has stated that, if Nottingham Forest qualifies for Champions League football at the end of this season, he will throw himself under a bus.”
“Let’s just hope he’s got it written down and witnessed and his legal team doesn’t include Nick De Marco.”
